Before long Mrs. Jones is naked from the waist up and I look at her beautiful breasts and with my heart in my throat I hope that nothing abnormal will be found today. I often find myself closing my eyes and praying to whoever is listening. I don’t think anyone is listening though.We chat for a while and I find myself on first name terms with Alicia. I ask her to place her breast on the base plate and with gloved hands I arrange it so that it is as flat as possible. The upper plate is lowered and I sneak out and let the X-Ray Mammogram do its job.She will feel nothing. They never do. It’s always the aftermath of knowing they have breast cancer that triggers the crying and the anxiousness and the fear, when they fucking think that their husbands will love them less when they are half the woman they once were.I keep the chatter very up-beat and cheerful. I can see from her demeanour that she wants to ask me whether there is anything to be seen as picture after picture is taken and the. Part 2As I laid there I ask Rowan and Primrose, will I remember anything of mypast life "some you will remember, the sexual conflicts you felt all ofyour life, this will help you empathise with those you will help in thefuture" as he was telling me this I thought back over my previous life asEric and realised what Rowan was telling me was the truth, I had alwaysbeen in conflict with my sexuality was I a boy or a girl, the girl I feltI was supposed to be and how as a teenager I had experimented with crossdressing, even though the clothes felt right on me, because of my looks Iknew it would never work no matter how much make up I used,How when Itried been a typical teenager and kissing a girl for the first time itfelt wrong to me, how at 18 I had entered into a gay one night stand eventhough kissing a man had felt natural for me to do, the sex made me feeldirty and disgusted with myself, and I decided there and then I wouldnever be able to enter a normal relationship and I never did,.
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